BetterPhotoJim

Random Thoughts at the Monterey Airport - Day 34

I'm sitting in the Monterey Airport, waiting to board a flight down to San Diego. I will be spending the next 3 days with a highly recommended speaking coach, Roberto Monaco. This was a last-minute spontaneous decision, and I'm excited. If I can learn how to clearly and confidently communicate my message, I can see myself helping many more people during the remainder of my career. Toastmasters is like a Polaroid of my speaking skills - giving me a good snapshot of my current strengths and weaknesses; Robert, I feel, will act like a high-res digital SLR - empowering me to fully express my best self.

I'm interrupting my vacation to do this seminar. If I were the only person involved in this decision, it would have been easy. But the true sacrifice was made by my dear wife, who is "on duty" as full-time single mommy for the next three days. I'm blessed.

And I've agreed to give her a vacation in the near future, to make it a fair trade :)

Getting situated at the gate, I noticed that the Boingo Wi-Fi was free until mid-January... a gift from Google. Sweet! That gave me a second change to get this blog out before boarding my flight.

When I signed into the wi-fi, I was presented with an opportunity to donate some holiday funds, with my contribution being matched by Google. Wow! They thought of everything! So I selected "Climate Savers Computing Initiative" and made a small donation. I'm thrilled to be able to take a small step in the right direction - it's a win/win/win.

(Referring back to my post about taking steps toward a "cooler" planet, I also intend to get the TED 5000 by Energy, Inc - a whole-house electrical meter that will help me monitor how much electricity me and my family are burning through. I love having a dashboard to chart progess; as their sales page says "if you can measure it, you can manage it."

I hope to find at least 1-2 similar carbon-reducing, energy saving ideas each week.

Okay I am being called to my plane. Talk to you tomorrow.

Free Your Mind Forever: Learn the Art of Prioritization - Day 33

My parents are visiting today. They may arrive at any minute. So I know that I have limited work time and must prioritize.

I can either go for a run on the beach or write for 90 minutes. Likely, by that time, my parents will arrive. I quickly weigh the options and come to a decision: it’s time to work.

My reasoning is that, if I am productive for the first part of the day, I will feel free and relaxed the rest of the day, knowing that I have accomplished something. I will still keep myself open to the possibility of exercise, because it’s important. But I am willing to sacrifice this good option (today’s workout) for the GREAT option (being productive and finishing today’s writing installment). And the definition of sacrifice to letting go of the good in preference of the great.

Before I continue, I realize that I have an underlying assumption about priority; I am working from a foundation which says a) Family and being a good son is more important than work; b) Entertaining guests and being a good host is more important than work; and c) Keeping the peace and encouraging harmonious interaction is more important than work.

So, within nanoseconds, I am already prioritizing.

Continuing on this theme... recently a friend said that people want one of three things:

• Fame
• Fortune
• To Make a Difference

As I thought about this, I felt conflicted. I would like to have enough money, of course, but I have always thought that I am primarily drawn to fame.

Whenever I explain my motives and my life to others, I usually tell the story about growing up as the last of seven kids. By the time I came around, my parents were D-O-N-E, done, I would half-jokingly say. And I would go on to explain that this is why I grew up with a deep need to be great… to be recognized as something special.

Every time I thought about this, however, I felt that something was untrue. Something was not quite right with this conclusion that I wanted to be famous.

Fame is often said to be fickle, unreliable. It’s external and therefore an unwise thing to base one’s happiness upon. But my negative feeling about wanting fame was above and beyond feelings of pettiness or guilt at wanting something most people frowned upon. It just didn’t sit right.

Then I had a mini-breakthrough. I asked myself, “If I could have fame at the expense of riches and making a difference, would I want it?”The answer was a resounding “No!”.

I instinctively applied the process of prioritization. “If I could be rich beyond all measure and be unknown, would I be okay with that?” Well, somewhat. I was getting closer.  But I wasn’t there yet because I knew that I would be unhappy if I was rich but not making a difference.

Do you see where this is going?

By prioritizing, I came to the conclusion that I must make a difference in the world. Sure I want to be financially free. Of course I will enjoy being recognized from time to time for creative excellence. But I won’t depend upon it, and I certainly won’t prioritize either of these above the feeling of making a difference. That’s number one.

I encourage you to do the same. Ask yourself what you most want – recognition, financial independence, or the feeling of making a difference.

This is something you need to work out individually. No one answer is universally better than the others. For some, providing wealth for themselves and their family will be seen as the most loving and caring thing they can do with their life. For others, helping others will be defined in terms of recognition. Being an inspiration for millions would indeed be a great contribution to the world.

Ask yourself the same questions I asked above:

• “Would I rather have fame at the exclusion of money and making a difference?”
• “Would I rather have fortune at the exclusion of fame and making a difference?”
• “Would I rather be making a difference at the exclusion of public recognition and money?”

Please let me know how it goes – either in comments below or via email (jim at better photo dot com) what insights you have. I would love to hear how you’re doing and the direction you’ve decided to go.

My folks just called... they are a few blocks away. Time to entertain :)

Are You Dreading Work or Doing What You Love? - Day 32

I am still rubbing sand out my ears and hair, after spending an hour with my family on the beach yesterday.

Before building sandcastles, I signed up for lessons from my 7-year old son on "How to Somersault Down the Sand Dunes". He quickly informed me that I was “too loose” and needed to curl up into a tighter ball for the most effective (and most speedy) trip down the sandy slopes.

In the process, I was transported back - to a Jim that was more playful and less "concerned".

(Bonus reward: I connected even more deeply with my son, if that's possible.)

It was a blast!

As you travel down the path you're currently taking, remember to pamper yourself with your own version of sand-dune-somersaulting or sandcastle building along the way.

In your work, you’ll have numerous opportunities to calculate effectiveness. You’ll likely be able to look at key metrics to see if your efforts are having a high ROI. Your bank account balance, for one, will tell you if you need to make adjustments to either your income-gathering abilities or your skill at keeping costs low. In the word of online marketing, you can use keyword tools to see which keyword phrases have the best “keyword effectiveness index” (KEI), a fancy term which means that there is great need and little competition... many people searching for this keyword phrase and few sites delivering relevant results.

But in the end, all this is worthless if you forget about one thing: your “enjoyment effectiveness index”.

Whenever you’re contemplating your work options, be sure to ask, “Will I enjoy the journey?”

This is one of the most powerful components of success, and the one most often disregarded or forgotten.

For example, I am writing this book. As I finalize my outline, I find myself asking:

•    Is my title attention-grabbing and memorable?
•    Is there a tribe in need of this particular topic, waiting for someone to help them?
•    Will Topic C or Subtopic D be something they want or need?

All of these questions are important. No doubt about it. But if I obsess only on questions like these, I’ll forget the most important part – my own passion and enjoyment.

In order to reach my goal and bring this book to the world, I will need a tremendous amount of positive energy. I will need to be highly motivated to learn. And I will need to be enjoying each and every day along the journey.

Sure it will require a great deal of effort to get to the top of the mountain. There will be days when I am temporarily tricked into believing I don’t want to work. But I’ll see though the lie and get right back on track. This will be especially easy to do if I am having fun along the way.

On your journey, your work may not involve somersaulting down the sand dunes with your kids every single second of each day. Your work may involve solitary, intense blocks of uninterrupted focus. You may not experience the delightful side effects of sand in your ears. Either way, you will certainly need to march back up the hill from time to time.

But if you’re doing what you love, you’ll find yourself fueled on when times are tough, and especially inspired during moments of high returns.

And the rewards will indeed be high. Commentator Justin Wolfers, in his blog and podcast appearance on The Economics of Doing What You Love weighs the costs vs. the benefits of marathon running. Even though shoes are cheap, he shows how "opportunity cost" makes the sport expensive. But in the end, the ROI is high when he does both what he loves and what he's good at. 

Let yourself have some fun, even if you think you might look like a fool. What other people think is unimportant. I has nothing to do with you. All that matters is that you keep yourself happy and continually progressing on your own path.

As they say in real estate, "A house is to be lived in, not looked at." You are the occupant of your own life; you have the supreme privilege of being happy in your home, without worrying about what the passers-by think.

Enjoy your journey!

Make Your Goal-Setting Super Relevant! Day 29

One great takeaway I got today at “Book Publishing 2.0” (thanks Michael Drew, Jeff Sexton, Garrett Gunderson, and the entire team!) was the reminder that I needed to first work out my big purpose in life, before I list my top goals. First getting clear on my purpose in life – the reason for my existence – will keep me from wasting any time on irrelevant goals.

The sad fact is that most of us have been misinformed about the process of goal-setting. Any competent teacher will tell you that, in order to achieve your goals, you first need to identify your goals. As Yogi Berra said, “You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

In addition to (correctly) telling you that you need goals, great teachers will also tell you that your goals need to be specific, vivid, and set with a clear deadline.

Unfortunately, few goal-setting guides will tell you to first work out your purpose.

But think about it… if you write a list of goals before you figure out your higher purpose, you will likely be jotting down goals that are not really important to you. Your highest goals may be false, imposed upon you by others, or the result of some effective ad you saw out of the corner of your eye will answering email or driving to work. It’s very likely that your goals are not really your goals at all.

Stephen R. Covey, in "The 8th Habit", talks about what he calls the "productivity pyramid", which shows in descending order from the top:

• daily planning
• weekly planning
• goals, and finally, at the foundation of the pyramid,
• identify mission & values

and says "At the base, we must first identify our mission and governing values - standards, ideals."

Go for it! Take control of the process! When you win, when achieve your goals, you can WIN BIG by achieving those things that really matter the most.

All you have to do is ask yourself “Why?” with each of your goals.

Then ask it again.

And again.

Keep asking until you you’ve found superior solutions to this complex, soul-searching question.

Entrepreneurs may have a goal of adding a zero to their revenue – going from $100,000 to $1,000,000 or from $2.1 million to $21 million. But when they examine the possibilities and dominate the soul-searching process (as entrepreneurs always do!), they’ll find their true purpose.

Maybe they want the money so they can solve some complex problem... in a big way. Maybe their purpose in life is to make a huge difference in the world – shake up the large conglomerates… figure out a way to remove carbon from the atmosphere… or teach thousands of young men and women in third-world countries the fine art of winning as an entrepreneur.

Or maybe your purpose is to win at home – to make your spouse proud and provide your family with that once-in-a-lifetime vacation.

So... “Why ask why?”

Simply, you’ll save yourself a lot of pain. This one question, when asked with persistence, will help you find the quick path to goal-setting mastery and, more importantly, long-lasting, authentic success in life.

Explaining "76 Days to Selfless Success" - Day 28

While in transit to Salt Lake City, I transcribed the following presentation, my second Toastmaster's speech. My goal with this 7-minute talk was to clearly explain my "76 Days to Selfless Success" project. It's hard to clearly express an idea that is not yet 100% clear to me. But I feel like I'm getting closer... one step at a time.

Here's what I got so far. I know it needs improvement... I'll keep working at it. The speech started off with a few questions...

***

“What can I get out of this situation?”

"What do you have that you can give me?"

“What can I get from YOU?”

I’ll bet that these questions, instead of making you feel like helping me, cause you, at some level, to tighten, constrict, to put on the brakes.

Today I’m going to tell you about an experiment I am conducting, called “76 Days to Selfless Success”. I’m going to:

•    describe the problem,
•    Tell you what the “76 Days” experiment is,
•    Tell you want it isn’t,
•    Show you how it solves the problem, and
•    Invite you to join me in this quest.

Here’s my story. After 3 years of accelerated growth in my business, I hit a wall. No matter how hard I worked, I could not seem to bring the business up to the next level. I felt exhausted. I was trying everything and seeing no progress. To make matters worse, I was losing friends, money, and confidence in the process.

I was not enjoying my work like I had in “the old days.” I was not feeling valued and I was not seeing financial freedom I so yearned for.

Some nights, I would collapse at the end of a long day, feeling defeated by the onslaught. Work never seemed to end. Everyone seems to need a piece of me. I felt overwhelmed. I never had time to breath...

It was all just TOO MUCH!

And I was not feeling like I was “getting the love.”

In this condition, I could not help but approach every situation with an underlying, often subconscious concern:

“What can I get?”

I lacked. I needed.  And in this state, I never would (never could) get enough to feel satisfied or grateful.

All I wanted was a Big Breakthrough.

And if I could not have a breakthrough, I would settle for just a couple of wins under my belt. That’s all I really needed - just a sign of progress… an indication I was headed in the right direction.

Then one day, I got a win under my belt. Applying the concept of “personas” to my business (where you create characters to represent your customers), I saw sales exceed what we had seen in almost 2 years.

The act of creating a persona and seeing our company through this persona’s eyes opened up entirely new levels of success. 

I had always known the adage that you need to walk your customer’s shoes, but I had never really delved into this art of empathy to this level.

I learned that I am not my customer and that my audience is not a million versions of myself.

Instead, they were very different kinds of people. Before, the business seemed like a mirror showing a reflection of myself; I saw myself in my customer and approached every project asking “What would I do?” and “Would I like this?”

Now I saw that the business was truly a mirror reflecting the customer back to him or herself. The important question was “What would JON do?” or “What would MICHELLE do?” The personas I had created were guiding me to make wiser, less self-centered decisions about marketing and presentation.

All I had to do to experience success was to get OUT of my own shoes and into my customer’s shoes.

This got me thinking about compassion, love, and empathy. It caused me to deeply consider the role “unselfed” love plays in business.

This exploration of empathy and generosity and unselfed caring led to launch of my current project: “76 Days to Selfless Success” 25 days ago, on October 18.

This is an experiment in self-transformation.

The experiment is entirely out in the open. Each day, I write a bit of my book, posting each day what I am uncovering and what it becoming more clear.

It’s a big test in self-improvement. During this 11 week exploration, I am testing different theories and weighing the results, to see what works best in practical application.

By writing my book out in the open, I hold myself accountable. The process is transparent. All can see where I started and where I end up.

Interestingly, one thing I’ve clarified is that, in order to do away with The Self, one must invest in self-improvement. To become selfless, you must:

•    grow in self-knowledge
•    develop and clarify your own vision
•    take care of yourself

In this way, you become less of a burden on others AND you bless those around you with inspiration and courage.

The online response to this experiment has been tremendous. Many people have written to me sharing their own dreams of success and expressed enthusiasm about the qualities of this project.

I don’t know where this is going. It’s not a sure thing. It may result in something helpful to others; it may go no further than helping me clarify my next best steps. It may end up as a book. It may end up being nothing more than a clarifying process for my vision... something to help me see the next steps in life.

I’m no expert. I’m not a ‘done’,  perfect, complete person…

But I am:

•    Determined
•    Willing to share all practical successes
•    Compassionately yours

If this particular experiment doesn’t lead to step-by-step solutions that will help millions of others find peace, happiness, confidence, and their next level of success – whatever that may be – then I will simply try a second experiment… and a third… until we all have greater clarity on selfless joy and unlimited success.

So I started this with three questions that illustrated what a self-absorbed, needy, "consumer" approach to any situation. And you probably felt yourself clam up a bit.

I'll end by demonstrating what happens with the opposite approach - one of giving, service, and unselfed love.

In respect and love, I bow in honor to you.

I am your servant.

I leave you with this question and invite you to contact me by commented on this blog (jim.betterphoto.com) or via email jim [at] betterphoto dot com – to tell me your answers to this all-important question:

How can I love you more?

Let me know.

Day 27 - Time to Make a Difference, Even If It's One Small Step in the Right Direction

If you're not new to this blog, you'll remember that I previously asked you to:

1. think of a skill you'd like to improve
2. come up with one action you can do within the next 24 hours

Today, I am going to dive into the selfless contribution side of success. It can't be delayed any longer. I simply must take action on a cause that I feel is important:

• going green

I am going to come up with one thing I can do, no matter how small, to make a difference with regard to caring for this awesome planet we inhabit.

Then, within the next 24 hours, I'm going to take the first step.

We owe it to our children and grandchildren.

I encourage you to do the same:

1. Think of one thing you can do today to reduce your carbon footprint, and care for the planet
2. Do it.

Then let me know how it goes.

If this blog upsets you and you feel angry or upset, perhaps the one thing you can do is this: simply open up to the possibility that this need is real. All I ask is that you consider it for a half hour, and ask "What am I fighting for? What do I have to gain by fighting against this cause?"

Checking in from Salt Lake City

Okay, today will be just a quick check in, as I am attending Michael Drew's "Book Publishing 2.0" seminar and, wouldn't you know it, I left my Mac power adapter on my desk as I was madly scrambling to get to the airport. I'll be seeking out fellow Mac users today to see if I can borrow their charger for a while, to keep me going until my charger arrives by mail. As soon as I get it, I'll catch up.

In the meantime, how are you doing? Email me or comment to let me know the three biggest frustrations or pitfalls you've experienced as well as the three greatest "wins under your belt". I'm interested to know how your own journey to selfless improvement and success is going.

Talk with you soon, my friends!

8 More Habits to Incorporate into Your Life - Day 24

In case you've been having difficulty thinking up habits you'd like to develop through the application of ritual, here are 8 more potential habits to consider.

Those who have read Stephen R. Covey's books will recognize these. The first seven are from "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". The 8th is more of a new dimension that wraps up the 7 and shows them in a new light. The 8th habit is about finding your voice and helping others do the same.

The first three, says Covey, can be summed up as "Make and keep promises":

1.  Be a responsible, proactive agent of change – at a place of Cause rather than Effect.
2.  Begin with the end purpose or vision clearly in mind.
3.  Put first things first; organize and execute around your most important priorities.

The second three can be summed up as "Involve people in the problem and work out the solution together":

4.  Think win/win and think in terms of abundance and opportunity.
5.  Seek first to understand (listening with consideration), then to be understood (speaking with courage).
6.  Synergize – creatively cooperate to optimize strengths and make individual weaknesses irrelevant.

The 7th habit has to do with maintaining capacity in the four arenas of your being:

7.  Sharpen the saw – renew the physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual.

And in "The 8th Habit", you can read all about applying these 7 habits in a new and deeper way:

8.  Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs.

Need specifics? Here are some suggestions:

• Replace “I have to” with “I choose to” and "I can't" with "I choose not to" or "I can".
• Get clear each morning on the Big Vision – your mission, values, and goals.
• Spend 1 hour each week planning out the week.
• Identify the “big rock” (your most important priority) each night. Another way to say this is: "Start the day the evening before."
• Stay focused on my own work or business whenever I’m tempted to think about the competition.
• Imagine the speaker is holding a “talking stick” until she is sure I have fully listened and “heard” her.
• Do the dishes each night after dinner.
• De-pile or file stuff once a day.
• Call one friend a day.
• Write one hand-written thank you note each morning. If you're a speed reader, take in one book each day.
• Pray daily.

Okay, my kids just came in, telling me about the Big Race and asking if I would like to film it. Gotta go. :)

Have fun selecting your first habit to incorporate into your daily routine.